Myth #4 -- Most Affairs End in Divorce
The Truth: While an affair may be a deal breaker and the bottom line for a number of people, the truth is that most couples who are dealing with the impact of an affair do stay together. In fact, I find it very hopeful that research shows that a number of these couples report that their relationships were closer, more intimate and stronger than before the affair.
If you have recently discovered your spouse has had an affair you may think this statement is just plain crazy. And if you are in the beginning stages of healing from and working through the effects of an affair it is crazy. This kind of result comes as a result of a long journey which requires honesty and commitment. When you are in the beginning stages of dealing with an affair the idea of a commitment to the process of healing together may be the last thing on your mind. It may seem impossible. Even if you have been coping with the impact of an affair for a while you may have similar feelings.
A number of the coupels who choose to stay together and engage in the healing process they are rewarded with a richness in their relationship they did not have before. In many of these cases, the affair became the catalyst for growth. That is not to say there was necessarily much wrong with the relationship before the affair. In some cases, affairs happen even when both spouses would say they had a good marriage. But, these couples took something awful and decided they were able to creat meaning of their experience and used it as a springboard to search deeply within themselves and each other for how they wanted to come back together as a couple.
Until next time...
I wish you peace and healing.