The "Eyes" Have It
I know this may sound strange, and maybe even a little unbelievable, but you can literally start to feel more connected and close to your partner by doing just one little thing. Just look into your partner's eyes. What? you might be asking yourself. Think about it. When was the last time you really looked into your partner's eyes and give them your complete and full attention when they were talking to you? If you are anything like most busy and harried couples any talking that happens happens on the sly, in between other things and while one of you is chopping the onions for dinner or packing backpacks for school the next day. But think about the last time someone really looked into your eyes and gave you their full attention when you were talking? If you can remember, then think about how that felt. If you can't, imagine in your mind someone looking at you in that way...deep into your eyes, with their full attention on you. They let you know that they hear every word and what you have to say is important to them. That is such a cherishing thing to do. And it is something that we often don't take the time to do because we are so busy. We are often on autopilot with our partners and are not always intentional in how we act with them.
Make a commitment to yourself and to your relationship right now. Make a commitment to yourself that you will look into your partner's eyes and hold their gaze when your partner has something to say that is important to them. Do this for at least one minute three times in the next week. Then do it again the next week. And then the next. This is one of the techniques I suggest to my clients which gets the most enthusiasm once they've tried it. A lot of people tell me afterward that they were surprised at what a big impact such a seemingly small gesture can have. And it is the seemingly little things we do everyday that can make the difference between an ok or fine relationship and a really passionate and alive relationship.
Until next time...
Love Your Love Relationship
Barbara
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